des femmes

How do you think of yourself?

2007-01-26T08:58:00.000-08:00

“Ella’s unexpectedly witty notecards” are embossed with delightful sayings like bitch, slut, and whore. Witty. The self-hatred makes me want to cry.

No she is NOT

2006-05-18T09:57:00.000-07:00

Laura Bush is no more a feminist than are Phyllis Schlafly or the shills of the IWF.

For the second time that I know of--how many other young women have been duped?--someone has marvelled on their blog about Laura Bush.

You've been had. Forget what comes out of the mouth; watch the hands.

Who is Laura Bush married to? I'm not going to cite the reasons I think George Bush is despicable. If you think he isn't, you might as well click away right now.

Could *you* look yourself in the eye if you were married to him? Don't say what a man does for a living has nothing to do with his personal life. By staying married to someone like that, you're condoning his actions. Lie down with dogs...

There are lots of reasons why women stay with contemptible shits like George Bush:

She's afraid he'll come after her.
She doesn't know where to go.
She's afraid of losing her kids.
She's afraid he'll hurt the kids.
Her pastor tells her it's her Christian duty.
She has no money.
Her "friends" tell her she'd be crazy to give up her nice house and social position.
She thinks his behavior is all her fault.
She's been beaten down so long she can't even imagine the possibility of leaving.

Tell me which of those reasons apply to Laura Bush. I've looked at her and read about her, and the only one I can even imagine being correct is that she'd lose her social position. Her social position. She wouldn't be out on the street. She wouldn't have to beg anyone to help her pay off her divorce.

Feminist my ass.

Annual post

2006-05-16T09:57:00.000-07:00

No, I haven't started or joined a feminist blog elsewhere.

I haven't blogged because it takes so long for me to write something comprehensible, and other projects have been taking up my time.

It's hard to keep up the fury, too, even though it simmers underneath all the time.

Then there's this horrible "Am I the only one who sees the problem here?" feeling. I do not understand the glee of calling oneself a slut or a whore or a pimp, of joking about porn.

This post is not about you

2005-07-19T16:56:00.000-07:00

It's kind of hard to have a discussion with someone who pops in for a few minutes and then takes off for weeks at a time, isn't it? No tone of levity is intended; read frustration and embarrassment instead.

(But I am reducing my backlog of newspapers. I've got to June 28 already.)

I could abandon this blog and go over to Feminist Rage and rant when my wrath overflows, but my territory is *here*. (If I were a cat, I'd be rubbing my head all over this page.) And in my own spot I don't have to try to adjust my thinking to fit in with the norm, assuming it were possible.

Sort of related story: I used to work at a federal equipment repair installation. Every fiscal year we'd have a work slowdown; we'd have widgets to repair, but we couldn't work on them till the funding came through. The old-timers were used to it, and they'd milk whatever work orders were open, sitting around a table in the clean room talking pretty much all day. Fool me, I was new there, bored to death with nothing to do but read a tech manual over and over, and I asked the supervisor when we were going to get some work in. He found some; he had us scraping and sanding the shipping barrels for the equipment.

Looks like I haven't learned my lesson yet.

Blind loyalty

2005-06-28T19:17:00.000-07:00

And media girl too...

"If BBA weren't started by Shakespeare's Sister, I'd agree with you."

NO ONE gets a free pass. That special privileges shit is an earmark of bullies and people who think they're better than anyone else.

Doesn't every living person deserve the right to be considered as a rational creature and not a body part?

What the hell is someone who professes feminism doing equating fortitude with testicles? At my most charitable I might call it short-sighted and foolhardy. I like the words traitorous and cowardly better.

To follow along with this "balls" mindset, we women will bargain away all our rights to control pregnancy, too, because we have to do whatever it takes to get the chimp out of the White House. And if it means giving up hope, well... It's not like we were ever considered more than walking pleasure boxes.

Blonde disloyalty

2005-06-28T19:08:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I was unclear in my earlier post. Certainly Teresa didn't seem to understand my meaning, that the hostile language in the blogs of people supposedly on the side of truth and justice drove me away from reading blogs for several months.

"First, I was pissed off at the time."

So being angry excuses certain language. It's okay--if I'm pissed off--to call people names, even people who aren't the object of my anger, and even though using that name continues a vicious stereotype.

"Second, I'm a blonde"

Lack of self-respect isn't permission to slander others.

"Third, if you think that's 'ugliness,' and that it's aimed at you ... sheesh."

Fucking believe it's aimed at me, large and multitudinous.

Teresa must know she's in the wrong--I just don't buy that she's not perceptive enough to see how insulting her "blonde" remark was--but she refuses to admit it. Down goes another icon.

Roses, rings, and balls

2005-06-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

That others take time not only to read this blog but also to respond amazes me. I prefer listening to talking; and too much attention makes me feel uncomfortable. And *obligated*. <grin>

It's painfully clear that many women who profess to be feminist haven't been able to free themselves from the sexism embedded in our culture; they don't really know themselves to be the equal of men; they haven't taken feminism into their heart.

Blog talk earlier about engagement rings and Valentine's Day flowers is an example. Is the ring a token of affection or a mark of ownership? If it's a token of affection, then surely the gift should be mutual--rings or some other item for both. How can it be right for only one person in the relationship to be *expected* to gift the other? Same thing with that trumped-up holiday, Valentine's Day.

Another example is some women's acceptance and adoption of sexist language. What I see is women posturing about being equal to or better than any man, and then being validated by being accepted as one of the guys. Pfft.

It don't work like that. At the end of the day, you're still a woman, and you're still second class, and you're leaving this mess for your daughters and sons.

So much for reframing

2005-06-19T17:31:00.000-07:00

No soft cushy penis hats for the so-called progressives, uh-uh. With their shiny rock-hard brass balls, these progressives one-up the Republicans and show them how a real man stacks up.

Amazing how women will promote this sexist language and call themselves progressive, and other women will accede so readily.

On the positive side, all those BBA logos sure made trimming my blogroll easy.

Not just blogs

2005-06-19T11:21:00.000-07:00

Newspapers have also lost their interest for me. For the last 25 years I've read my local paper, even the back issues when I return from vacation.

Ha! I'm on vacation all the time now. For weeks the papers stack up until I can bring myself to skim them. The largest stack held seven weeks of papers.

Jeanne captured the feeling I used to have:

"The article took me hours to read, because I couldn't take more than a short bit at I time, but felt obligated to know what was in it, and to let each horror sink in. It was the only news I managed to read yesterday, not only because it was hard to take, but because after reading that, there didn't seem to be anything else in the world worth knowing about."

I guess I'm more cynical, or too selfish, or better numbed, than Jeanne. I can't even stir myself to be interested in much besides the comics.

Tomorrow becomes never

2005-06-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

For months I've been thinking about updating this blog. I'll get to it as soon as I finish this, and then this, and then this other thing. But...

The blogs that used to irritate me so much--I can't stand to read them any more. Ignorant little twerps, pompous blowhards, shills. Lost causes, and their cause isn't mine. They--and of course I'm speaking in general--want to be the ones on top, and we women get to remain on the bottom.

Here's this comment from the charming Orcinus:

"Well, that didn't take long. I figured it was only a matter of time before the conservative facade of civility crumbled, but this time it came off faster than the pancake on a ten-dollar hooker."

Teresa Nielsen Hayden wrote a beautiful summary of postelection reaction:

"You know what's really happening? They're seeing our reactions, and they're scared. It's like that moment where someone tells you what they've done, and it's disastrously wrong, a complete catastrophe; only they haven't understood that until now, when they see you stagger and turn pale at the news. And as you're standing there steadying yourself, feeling your heart pounding and a terrible weight descending on your shoulders ... you realize that the other person is preemptively yelling at you. They still don't quite know what's happened, but they can tell they've screwed up big time, so they're screaming that they certainly hope you aren't going to pretend that this could somehow have been their fault, because ..."

But then in the comments she said,

"To have voted for Nader in 2000 required only error. To have done so in 2004 required that one vote for someone one knew was a shamelessly manipulative and irresponsible liar. I respect democracy, and I respect the voting process. I just don't respect that choice. I'll also defend to the death your or anyone else's continuing right to make stupid choices -- which, as Groucho Marx once said to a blonde, is more than you've been doing lately."

A blonde. Now what is "blonde" shorthand for, I wonder?

If this ugliness directed at me is the best I can hope for from the supposedly liberal side, I don't want anything to do with it. I can be insulted without having to go out and look for it.

Eye candy for the fiber artists

2004-12-09T13:50:00.000-08:00

I happened upon these sites and thought some of the people who knit and embroider might appreciate some gorgeous examples of textile arts.

And here's an article about fabrics found at archeological sites:
Discovery and study of ancient fabrics provide clues to life in ages past
[via Fusion Reaction]

Links pruned, links grafted

2004-12-09T13:36:00.000-08:00

Cleaning up my blogroll, I noticed a lot of people haven't posted since just after the U.S. election. Guess I wasn't alone in wanting to just not think about the impending annihilation of the world as we know it. [grin]

Some links I removed because their mix changed; I want the links to focus on women, and male contributors disturb the balance. Other links were removed because the page didn't display properly in my browser or the flashing graphics hurt my eyes.

I added a few more links, too. Not all are progressive or liberal or feminist; I like to be reminded now and then that other people may have different views.

And I learned something new about LiveJournal: All journals on LiveJournal have both an RSS and an Atom feed.

What if...

2004-11-10T20:45:00.000-08:00

A smart kitty would be lapping the floor clean, not crying over spilled milk.

Still, I have to wonder what would have happened if Clinton had upheld his promise to complete the integration of the Armed Forces. Could the country have been any more divided than it is now?

And what if just one of the 45 Democratic senators in the 106th Congress had stood up for universal suffrage? Even if the House of Representatives would have confirmed Bush anyway, shouldn't the Democrats have united in condemnation of voter intimidation?

Expediency is a lousy platform.

Women are veterans too

2004-11-10T20:33:00.000-08:00

A reminder...

Women comprise 15 percent of the total military (Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force).

Military Personnel Statistics as of Sept. 30, 2003:
Total military	1,434,377
Total women in military	215,243	15.00%

Total officers	227,851
Female officers	34,796	15.27%

Captain Barbara A. Wilson, USAF (Ret) has gathered a boatload of information about Military Women Veterans.

How can we live together?

2004-11-10T04:48:00.000-08:00

I've squinted and tried to see with the eyes of the people who voted for Bush, and I cannot see whatever they thought they were seeing.

Falsification of scientific data. Corrupt business practices. Disregard of civil rights. Condoned torture. Squelching of dissent. Mocking our veterans. The budget deficit.

Shockingly plain to my eyes.

Invisible to millions of people--educated people, intelligent people, people who "researched" the issues and still decided for Bush.

People who were angst-ridden, scared, tolerant, cynical, distrusting, and want[ed] and fear[ed] change so much that they clung to the candidate who had been milking their fears ever since his incompetence gave the terrorists their opportunity.

Deluded people, who believed that there wasn't much difference between Bush and Kerry, and at least Bush has a sense of humor. People who just didn't think Kerry could fight terrorism, and that Bush's environmental record isn't as bad as it was made out to be.

These people don't understand, refuse to understand, that the widespread grief at Kerry's loss came from fear for America's future, and the mass gasp of O Canada arose from revulsion at being forced to live with people who care nothing for decency and justice, and whose susceptivity to propaganda may cause them to turn on their fellow citizens at any second.

The phrase "drinking the Kool-Aid" is painfully cynical; over 900 people died in Jonestown, nearly a third of them children. But it sure seems like half the country has been guzzling it down.

Reasons for picking X for president

2004-10-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

Whatever we believe about the candidates, we still have to live together after November. Maybe understanding how the other half thinks will ease the divisions.

Why people are voting...

via Shaula at tsuredzuregusa

Valium in Iraq

2004-10-18T07:28:00.000-07:00

The question of whether Valium use is a problem in Iraq came up on Trish Wilson's blog.

Riverbend discusses Valium use in Iraq.

Fascism and pseudo fascism

2004-10-18T06:56:00.000-07:00

Shameless Agitator lists the fourteen common characteristics of fascist regimes:

"5. Rampant sexism. Beyond the simple fact that the political elite and the national culture were male-dominated, these regimes inevitably viewed women as second-class citizens. They were adamantly anti-abortion and also homophobic. These attitudes were usually codified in Draconian laws that enjoyed strong support by the orthodox religion of the country, thus lending the regime cover for its abuses." [my emphasis]

Orcinus has written a series on "The Rise of Pseudo Fascism": [December 8, 2004: Links to final articles added]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5 new(er)
Part 6 new(er)
Part 7 new(er)

Sexist

The New York Police Department refused to investigate a police officer who wore a motorcycle helmet with the words "Loud Wives Lose Lives" on it during the GOP convention.

Under current HMIS guidelines, that cop would have access to the addresses of domestic violence shelters.

Many domestic violence shelters in this country rely on HUD funding and will be required to participate in the Homeless Management Information System (HMIS), a computerized database to track people who are homeless. Within any given state there could be literally thousands of people who have access to this information. Early in the process of developing HMIS standards, domestic violence organizations raised concerns about client safety, explaining that there was a need for domestic violence victims' identities and temporary residences to remain confidential so that their abusers can't locate them. The exemptions for domestic violence shelters and domestic violence victims have been removed from the final standards. Go here to complain about these standards.

Sexist and homophobic

Katherine R at Obsidian Wings writes:

"All of this [Coburn's lesbian epidemic and Keyes' accusing lesbians of selfish hedonism] becomes a lot less funny when you read stories like these two. But note that it's not just a red state thing--the two follow-ups are about a girl from Newark:
'Survival is a part of everyday Newark, but for Felicia it intensified in May 2003 with the killing of her friend, a 15-year-old lesbian named Sakia Gunn, who was at a bus stop downtown when she rejected a man's pickup attempt with the declaration that she was gay. A fight followed and Sakia was stabbed to death.' "

A few comments

2004-10-18T06:39:00.000-07:00

I read all the advice columnists in the newspaper--childrearing, physical fitness, automobile repair, it doesn't matter. The columnist that grates on me is the younger Dear Abby. She has to put in her opinion after every single letter, even when the letter stands alone, nothing needed but a thank you for writing in.

Most of the comments here don't need any response from me, like these two:

"How do we insult upper-class, white, heterosexual men?" (Sarah)

"We become equal to them." (Hanna)

Here's a question that does need an answer:

"I have a generic question about your blog: is the name a conscious tribute to Les éditions des femmes, the historic French feminist publishing house?" (Jimmy Ho)

No. Embarrassingly, I don't think I ever heard of it or Antoinette Fouque before. Thank you for asking and making me learn something new.

Words, homophobic and otherwise

2004-10-18T06:11:00.000-07:00

Graham asked:

"Is 'ass-kisser' homophobic?"

And Greg said:

"Brown-noser and ass-kisser strike me as strongly homophobic."

Wow, that's a reaction I never anticipated. I was thinking of someone making obeisance, instead of kissing the ground kissing the foulest part of someone's body, which in our culture would be the anus. Think "put it where the sun don't shine," "eat shit," "asshole," "got their heads up their asses," and so on.

Maybe I'm just out of touch--how do others feel? Is ass-kisser homophobic?

Graham continued:

"I would actually find 'spunkless' incredibly insulting. It suggets that I cannot impregnant a woman and am therefore less than a man."

It sounds like we're looking at different meanings for "spunk." My dictionaries say spirit, pluck, mettle. Spunk is also slang for semen?

In any case, your being insulted by the word "spunkless" is amazing. Can any man seriously consider that his worth as a human being depends on what squirts out of his penis? To judge a man by his ability to impregnate a woman implies that men are nothing more than baby-makers, worthless for anything else. That standard demeans all men, and specifically insults those who are physically unable to or who for any reason choose not to procreate.

James D said:

"I'm curious about how you feel about 'suck' -- i.e.; he/she/that 'sucks.' Obviously referencing oral sex with the implication that it's a bad thing (to be giving, of course, not receiving), which leads back to being a whore..."

I didn't comprehend how insulting "suck" could be, not just to gay men but also to nursing mothers. I'm trying to weed "suck" out of my vocabulary, and alsis38's suggested substitutions--reeks, stinks, rots--are a big help; these words have the same strong emphatic sound. Alsis38 also said, "Good suffixes to add empahsis are things like '...on ice,' 'on toast,' 'on stilts,' etc."

RepubAnon proposed these terms:

"ashcroft (v) wanton destruction - as in 'They've done a real ashcroft on the Bill of Rights.'

cheney (v) as in 'go cheney yourself'

Powell (n) powerless toady, as in my manager sure is being a powell after the CEO called.

Rumsfeld (n) insane, as in 'crazy as a rumsfeld'"

The politics of economics

2004-10-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

The Blogosphere's invisible women explain the Ownership Society, presented in suggested reading order.

How to disenfranchise people without even trying
(Pinko Feminist Hellcat)

Maybe people don't care because they don't have time to think
(BlondeSense)

The faces behind the numbers
(tsuredzuregusa)

Jobs (or jorbs, if you're the coach)
(Utopian Hell)

Life on the edge
(Suburban Guerrilla)

Work hard for the money
Strong and getting stronger for the multi-millionaires
(Just a Bump in the Beltway)

Hello Bush, bye bye jobs
(Democratic Wings)

Self-Made Billionaires
(echidne of the snakes)

What's wrong with saying Ann Coulter dresses like a skank?

2004-10-15T08:32:00.000-07:00

John Aravosis of AMERICAblog says:

"Ann Coulter, Miss Conservative, always dresses in public like she wants to get fucked, right then and there. As someone who makes her living off of launching personal attacks on others, it's fair game to ask why Coulter panders to her conservative fan base by dressing like such a skank? She appeals to them with sex, when I thought that was a big no-no on their side of the aisle. Not to mention, for someone so highly critical of others for being supposed intellectual fakes, you have to wonder about a chick who relies on T&A to sell her ideas."

Chiming in with insults would be so easy. Why on earth should I care what anyone says about Ann Coulter? She sure as hell would never stand up for me, a corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagon.

I care because too many people take these underlying assumptions as truth:

She has only her looks to sell.
Coulter sells the same thing Rush Limbaugh does. If he doesn't have to rely on his looks, why think that she must?

and

A woman never wears certain styles just because they're fashionable or comfortable.
A woman should never wear clothing that reveals her sexuality unless she wants sex.
A woman wearing clothing that shows she wants sex can't complain when someone gives it to her.
Specifically, women who wear leather, miniskirts, or high heels are skanks; they're sexually promiscuous--immoral, lewd, whorish--and panting for sex with anyone.
Do I need to explain how offensive these beliefs are? Women don't plan every single thing they do just for men, and a short skirt isn't an automatic invitation.

You know what's amazing? Those guys with half their cracks showing, their nipples poking out through holes in their T-shirts, and their bellies hanging out over their pants--no one ever thinks they're sexually promiscuous just because they show a little skin when they go out in public.

Women, looks count louder than actions

2004-10-15T08:29:00.000-07:00

Shaula Evans posted at Blogging of the President about Sarah McLachlan's video, World On Fire. After reading a story on the Engineers Without Borders Web site, McLachlan and her production company donated the $150,000 production budget to projects like running a street children's hospital in India for a year, schooling for 100 street children in Tanzania, and education for 200 students in Ethiopia. "The only production expense was $15, the cost of a Sony mini DV tape."

What kind of comments did ~~people~~ men post? "The amount of money wasted on ephermeral crap is astounding." ... "This is a very nice video, but it's consumer politics." ... "So instead of feeding the children of her postproduction company's office manager's secretary, she fed somebody somewhere else." ... "I think the $15 is on poor Sarah's face, though. Man."

And then there's the man who, seeing the poster of the three girls who say yes to boys who say no, said: "Yuck. Between those gals and the Army, I'd pick the Army."

Women, the spoils of war

2004-10-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

Girls say yes.
A Vietnam-era antiwar poster promises: "Girls say yes to boys who say no."
via Matt Stoller at Blogging of the President

Their fathers say yes for them.
Women in northern Iraq are being forced to marry foreign fighters.

Women who said yes now told no by the government.
U.S. soldiers cannot obtain abortions through their military medical care, even if they're raped. Women serving in countries where abortion is illegal, like Iraq, not only have to pay for their medical care but also travel outside the country to get it.
Sign a petition asking Congress to lift the ban.
via Jeanne at Body and Soul and Willow at blackfeminism.org

Friday phallus blogging

2004-10-15T08:20:00.000-07:00

I thought every English major knew baseball bats are obvious phallic symbols.
via Majikthise

Batter up!

Oops, missed some

2004-10-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

I missed a few putdowns in my earlier post about some comments at Body and Soul.

We have far more important things to worry about.

"Oh, yes, let's beat up on Atrios. Good idea. Just the thing to be doing right now." (Patrick Neilsen Hayden)

a. You're just jealous.
b. Be quiet! We have to stick together for the good of [whatever].

"I should have been a lot clearer--I was referring to the way a lot of subsequent commentors seemed to be singling out Atrios, as if he epitomized the worst of this stuff. [...] I do think that [other posters were] right to observe that the logic of 'don't object right now, there are more important things to worry about', which was implicit in my post, is wrongheaded. And I certainly think you're entitled to say 'Hey, that bugs me, knock it off' and expect to be at least respected. I just wish I could come to this conversation without quite such a long personal history of having seen [a] these kinds of reproofs being used as a way to cut down the tall poppies, [b] as a means of undercutting the liberals and leftists who speak most forcefully." (Patrick Neilsen Hayden)

Can someone who deliberately insults women be truly called a liberal? Not by my definition: respecting the rights of others regardless of sex, age, color, religion, sexual preference, physical condition, or income level; working toward a common good; treating each other with the respect due every human being.

Yes, I know who Patrick Neilsen Hayden is. Makes it worse, doesn't it? Even the guy who had enough guts to change his name when he got married, an extremely pro-feminist action, will jump automatically to defend another guy's insulting language.

As for singling out Atrios, I found the insults as a reader of his blog. Should I mention the other blogs--Daily Kos, for one--in which I didn't find insults? (Okay, I really hate "whore," but I can hold my nose sometimes.)

By the way, it does seem that Atrios may have listened and cut out the "pussy" usage, at least.

a. Your complaints are just some more of that PC stuff.
b. We'll keep it clean when you ladies are around.
c. You're overly sensitive; no one but you is offended.

Kevin Hayden said:

"Wait, this was a discussion of bloggers offending women with poorly chosen words, right? Then the ultimate bottom line oughta be this: [a] there's no static level of PC that is permanently achievable. The definition has to remain: what's considered [b] polite in mixed company. If a few people in the readership are saying certain words are offensive, a writer simply should demonstrate consideration for their concern. [c] It thereby remains the judgment of the author to define for herself or himself how many persons constitute a 'few' worth keeping as readers, or how sensible just one objector is in critiquing a usage they were offended by."

What's this "mixed company" crap? Does that mean it's okay to use words like "raghead" or "nigger" as long as there are no ragheads or niggers around?

Just ask them nicely to stop.

"Racism, sexism, class prejudice, and other forms of prejudice need to have light thrown in their direction, but I become concerned when examining prejudice becomes less a matter of understanding and amelioration and more a game of gotcha." (Jeanne)

Gilliard responded by repeating the insult. Who's playing gotcha there? Other men have refused to admit they're insulting women, instead throwing out the same old moth-eaten arguments. Is it playing gotcha to keep highlighting insults until they stop?

I've read posts by women who object to this language on at least three other blogs besides Body and Soul. Very likely there are others that I haven't seen. How long have women been objecting, and how long will we have to keep objecting before the men stop insulting us?

Some guys get it

2004-10-02T11:23:00.000-07:00

Juan Cole writes:

"Second, I found the Time magazine diction about Pelosi sexist. The article described her as having 'come unglued' on hearing of the plan. 'Coming unglued' is the wrong image here. She didn't go hysterical and fall apart. If you were going to be glib, you could have described her as 'livid' or 'going ballistic.' But such journalistic buzzwords for alarm and anger are reserved for men (no doubt the phallic connotations of intercontinental ballistic missiles help gender the image). Pelosi did not become 'unglued.' Rather, she intervened forcefully and effectively. She appears to have mobilized a bipartisan 'powerful women' network with Rice, whom she strong-armed (another simile not usually used of women). Of course, she also was in a position to mobilize the Democrats in Congress across gender boundaries."

Still here

2004-10-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

De-blog and de-stress for a few days, and I come back to 40-plus comments on my last post. I'm a little amazed.

Thank you to everyone who has visited. I haven't read the comments yet--hope there's no dictionary war going on.

If you haven't seen them yet, there are some active discussions about smiling at Hugo Schwyzer's blog and Alas, a Blog.

Mouse Words has begun highlighting female musicians.

What She Said! is adding links as fast as tribbles reproduce.

And for a spot of amusement: One for the "yeah right" files.

Making it simple

2004-09-19T09:46:00.000-07:00

Some people don't understand my posts. I will explain more clearly.

Pussy is an insult. Cunt is an insult. Bitch is an insult.

Insults are bad. They hurt people's feelings. Using insults makes it hard for people to understand each other. Using insults divides people into "us" and "them." These insults can be replaced with other words.

Pussy is slang for vulva. The vulva are female genitalia. (Genitalia are the external sex organs. The male genitalia are the penis and testes.)

Calling a woman a pussy says she is nothing but genitalia. Calling a man a pussy says he is a woman who is nothing but genitalia.

Calling a person a pussy is an insult. It is a sexist insult because it reduces a woman to genitalia. It is a homophobic insult because it implies a man has female genitalia.

Many people say pussy when they mean coward. That is insulting because woman or gay man is not the same thing as coward.

A woman is a female person. A gay man prefers sex with other men. A coward is a person who shows fear in a disgraceful or ignoble manner.

Cunt is also slang for vulva.

Calling a person a cunt is an insult. It is a sexist insult because it reduces a woman to genitalia. It is a homophobic insult because it implies a man has female genitalia.

Calling a woman a cunt says she is nothing but genitalia. Calling a man a cunt says he is a woman who is nothing but genitalia.

Many people say cunt when they mean obnoxious person. That is insulting because woman or gay man is not the same thing as obnoxious person.

Bitch is more complicated. A bitch is a female dog.

Bitch is also slang for a spiteful, overbearing woman.

Many woman think of a bitch as a tough woman who isn't going to take any crap from anyone. They think of a bitch as a snarling dog ready to attack.

Many men do not. Many men and women think of bitch as a submissive person who will do whatever whatever her master tells her to. They think of a bitch as a cringing dog whimpering with fear.

They think this because bitch is also coarse slang for a prostitute. It is often used in combination with the name of whoever sells the prostitute's services. A prostitute is called her procurer's bitch.

Using bitch to mean prostitute to mean obsequious person is insulting. Many women become prostitutes by force or from desperation. They may feel they have no other choices. Often they are forced to do things they don't want to do. They risk beatings, rape, and murder by their customers and their procurers.

The phrases pimp slap and bitch slap show how common violence is for these women. Some people think these phrases are amusing. These phrases are sexist insults because they make fun of beating up women.

The obsequious person does not risk rape or murder. Using bitch to mean obsequious person belittles these women's degradation and dangerous situation. This usage is unkind. This usage is a sexist insult. It is also a homophobic insult when it refers to a man.

Other words can be used in place of these insults.

A coward may be called invertebrate, spineless, gutless, spunkless; a craven, wimp, doormat.

An obnoxious person may be called a jerk, loudmouth, boor, lout, clod, blockhead, oaf, slob.

An obsequious person may be called a sycophant, myrmidon, minion, groveler, toady, bootlicker, lickspittle, brown-noser, ass-kisser, parasite, flunkey, lackey, stooge.

A whole raft of men refuse to get it

2004-09-17T08:42:00.000-07:00

Jeanne at Body and Soul started a discussion about language that insults women. It's interesting to see how some comments overlap and reinforce each other, and other comments connect with dead space. Some men clearly and eloquently do get it. But others... Read the discussion for the whole range of opinions, including how other women feel; I'm just pulling out a few comments that show how privileged males marginalize women.

You don't belong here anyway.

"So when these men use these terms, they're talking to each other, not to you, even if you happen to hear it. You're supposed to realize the difference." (James Brown)

Be a good girl; you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

"That said, I still worry, as i said above, that to attack too vigorously the use of the term "bitch' for instance is to (perhaps) lead one to a position that is borderline racist. The term came from black culture....and even if its an example of BAD black culture, I dont want to start insisting on its prohibition....not yet anyway." (John Steppling)

You must hate men.

"Forgive me for suspecting that a woman (DesFemmes) who sees misoginy in the thinnest of evidence (Steve Gilliard, Atrios), is perhaps herself misoandrist." (Patrick (G))

You just don't understand humor.

"If I say Bush 'isn't a real man,' I'm speaking the language of him and his supporters. I don't think it's insulting, but they do. It's meant to be doubly mocking - hit them where it hurts and mock them for being so stupid as to be hurt by it." (Atrios)

What amuses me is that to the Bush people, Atrios isn't even a speck of fly shit. He's nothing, his only influence with a ragtag bunch of blog readers. He could scream every filthy insult imaginable in whatever language he chooses, and the Bush people would not care.

Who does Atrios think he's hitting where it hurts--those other bloggers who already plan to vote for Bush? Yeah, they're going to change their minds because he calls the unemployed pussies. In some alternate world, maybe. In this one, Bush supporters know Arnold wasn't talking about them; their jobs are safe, and even if some catastrophe were to occur, more jobs will be created just as soon as the election is over, when Bush can stop fighting that traitor Kerry and get the country back on the right track.

So why is Atrios mocking Bush in misogynist terms (which he doesn't believe to be insults)? Does he wish to amuse the other top-tier liberal bloggers? Now that's really productive. (Random thought: Do guys really stand in a circle and masturbate? Ewww.)

I'll repeat myself: These "liberal" people whose posts anger me don't use raghead, kike, nigger, chink, wop, faggot--words that might apply to men. They use words that specifically target women.

If the outcome of this election is so important to Atrios, Gilliard, Digby, and others, why do they drive women away by insulting them? From Matt Stoller's infiltration of a Republican training session:

"According to [Leslie Sanchez, political analyst for Bush/Cheney], women voters make up the majority of registered voters in every battleground state, and they are angst-ridden, scared, tolerant, cynical, distrusting, and want and fear change. They are also the key to this election."

Hey! That sounds like me! I'm scared, tolerant, cynical, and very distrusting of people who insult me. From where I stand, there's precious little difference in the way I'm treated by right and left. Maybe I'll sit out this election.

Over at Wampum, MB Williams defends Atrios:

"I do take exception with the focus on Atrios as the embodiment of this pervasive undercurrent of misogyny on the Left. While Duncan may have exhibited of slip of the tongue (although I do accept his explanation), his actions over the past two years that I've been reading Eschaton indicate a deeper sensitivity to feminism (and racism as well) than I've enountered in most regions of our corner of the 'Net."

Atrios earned the focus by being one of the most, if not the most, influential "liberal" bloggers and yet using words that insult me and other women, a trait I consider neither liberal nor progressive.

"While words do sting, I'm personally an action kinda gal. I look for women on a blogger's sidebar, or them being given full control of content when the big cat is away. In both those instances, Atrios easily clears the bar."

As does the current occupant of the White House: Condoleezza Rice. Elaine Chao. Christine Todd Whitman. Ann Veneman. Gale Norton. Margaret Spellings.

Hmmm. Maybe I should vote Republican. Doesn't W stand for Woman?

[UPDATE] My point in these last few paragraphs--which obviously isn't coming across--is that Bush can plausibly say he supports women. Too many people are unaware of how he is trying to roll back women's rights. Faced with that lack of knowledge and trying to choose sides, a woman is unlikely to join men who see women as lesser beings. The men's language is turning women away.

Gilliard refuses to get it

2004-09-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

Steve Gilliard responded by e-mail to my post objecting to his use of "gutless bitch":

"Only you seem to have women in mind. He's also a gutless pussy."

Thank you, Steve, for slapping me back in my place.

His tone is amazingly different in this pledge drive post--in fact almost womanish, er, polite.

But every dime is not just random kindness, or simply decency. It's a statement, as I said before, about your beliefs, your sense of public participation, a refusal to remain passive. Blogs are a great way to say you have a mind, opinions and will act on them.

What a clown.

Friday phallus blogging

2004-09-17T06:59:00.000-07:00

The wonder of nature and man, strangely withered.

Nuances: who owns the words

2004-09-07T13:50:00.000-07:00

Simbaud stopped by and asked some hard questions. He noticed I haven't called out any women for using pussy or so-&-so's bitch. There are a mishmash of reasons why; here are the ones I could put to words, in no logical order:

The women's usage doesn't threaten me the way the men's does. When men say pussy instead of coward, their tone turns ugly with contempt. It's frightening, and self-defense drives me to anger.
Enough people already tell women what they can and can't say or do.
Each person has the right to define themself. It's their choice, not mine, what they call themself, no matter how I may cringe.
I don't want to get involved with any "us versus them" among women. Dissension is a tool for the people who abuse power.
It disappoints me and I don't want to think about it.
The men are the ones who relish these insults. When the men stop, the women will stop.

Simbaud continued,

"The blogs mentioned above are two of my favorites. Should I stop visiting them..."

No! Stop visiting a blog on my say-so? I'm the arbiter of nothing. I just want the insults to stop.

"...and -- more to the point -- should you delete them from your blogroll?"

The blogroll isn't about gathering a list of women who sound just like me. If that were the point, I could just shut down my computer and talk into a mirror.

Simbaud added,

"Do you plan to go after bloggers who use the homophobic terms 'sucks' and 'blows'?"

Or worse, "cocksucker."

Where to stop? Complain too often, and people stop listening (if they ever were). I decided to stick with those words that assaulted me specifically. Am I being spineless? Comments welcome.

"Next question: what are we to do with those groups and individuals who believe that, by co-opting and/or ironizing such terms of opprobrium as 'queer' and 'nigger,' they have removed a powerful weapon from the bigot's holster?"

Gut feeling: I have no right to tell someone else how to name themself. I can only choose whether or how closely to associate with them.

Thoughts, anyone?

Mithras said:

Am I allowed to call them "dicks" and "dickheads"? (After all, they were wearing those penis hats in the convention hall.) Or would men get their feelings hurt? "Assholes" is unisex, so does that make it okay or doubly bad?

Sounds like Mithras may be pulling my leg, and I'm tempted to tell Mithras to stand in the corner for fifteen minutes for typing those potty words.

I hate the words "dick" and "dickhead," but right now I'm selfishly ignoring them, not approving them.

(Those penis hats are hysterically funny, aren't they? I wonder if anyone can look at one and see nothing but a happy elephant waving its trunk.)

(Didn't people use to sacrifice bulls to Mithras above a grate while soldiers stood in a tunnel beneath where the bull's blood would drip on them?)

Tikae came to the defense of Fafblog, Fred to the defense of Atrios.

I don't buy that their irony excuses the use of insults. Constant repetition fixes the insult into people's heads. Lots of people now think that Kerry served only four months during the Vietnam war. Some white people think any well-dressed black man is a pimp. Pussy, woman. Pussy, coward. Woman, coward.

Atrios might think he's elucidating the radical right's ideology, but he's actually spreading it for them. Surely everyone has seen one person needling some other person, one calm sly dig right after another, until the second person explodes, thus losing the control game? Atrios loses every time he interprets the conservative elite's ideology into sexist street talk. "I didn't say that," they can rightfully deny. Meanwhile, Atrios loses the ear of anyone offended by his language while narrowing his focus to address men only.

Same with Fafblog. If he'd used "girly men" instead of the contempt-filled "pussy," no one could point a finger at him without also pointing at Schwartzenegger. But he chose not to.

Friday phallus blogging

2004-09-03T07:58:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! News: Delegate wearing a hat inspired by the Republican Party mascot.

A sad lack of creativity

2004-09-01T17:47:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure no Republican said these words to Jesse. What they are really saying would be far more interesting than Jesse's limited and sexist vocabulary.

Jesse says:

"The delegates, the entire convention, are much more hostile to Democrats than the DNC was to the Republicans. In Boston, it was 'Bush has done a bad job.' In New York, it's 'John Kerry is a scumsucking bitch.'"

A good day for some pussy

2004-09-01T17:40:00.000-07:00

Do I have this straight? It's a good thing to get some pussy, a bad thing to be one, and absolutely loathsome to have one.

Atrios says:

"Suck it up if you're unemployed. Pussies."

Giblets says:

"And all this on compassion night! Man, I thought all these speeches were gonna be for pussies."

[UPDATE - thanks, Roxanne!] Kevin Drum says:

"Overwhelmingly, liberal bloggers seem to feel that if they watch the Republican convention speakers any longer they will explode. So they aren't. Even the ones who are specifically in New York to cover the convention can't stand it and are mostly hanging out and just chatting with each other.

Pussies."

Political correctness, my foot

2004-09-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

Some responses to Matt Stoller's The Woman Blogging Thing caught my eye.

Ellen Dana Nagler said:

"Feminism was for a time reduced to fighting the political correctness wars (which I see from Matt's link that Desfemmes is still doing), and that's when it would have lost me, if it had found me or I it in the first place."

Camille Roy said:

"I started with the usenet groups back in the eighties because I've been a software engineer for almost 20 years. Back then I was capable of hurt feelings as a result of rough language. I guess I just got over it in the intervening years. (You can too!) You pay to play - with a hardened skin."

I'm going to repeat it until my tongue swells up and turns black: "Political correctness" is a term used to devalue civility and give excuse for insulting others under the guise of being plain-spoken.

Rough language isn't the fucking issue. Using "pussy" for "coward" is far more than rough language: it's language that intentionally marks a class of people--women--as weak, inferior, and bad.

These "liberal" people whose posts anger me don't use raghead, kike, nigger, chink, wop, faggot--words that might apply to men. They use words that specifically target women, and their name-calling is a standard technique of establishing psychological control. If they won't even pretend to be nonsexist, you can kiss wage equity goodbye.

The dog blogging thing

2004-09-01T07:05:00.000-07:00

Forget the talk about whether women and black people blog, I want to know where the dogs are. Cat blogging this, cat blogging that, and not a single dog blogging. Heck, one sharp-clawed feline has her own blog, and there's even an otter blogger.

Where the bark are all the dogs?

Spreading the hate meme, liberal style

2004-09-01T07:01:00.000-07:00

According to both BlogStreet and the TTLB Blogosphere Ecosystem, Atrios is the third most influential blogger; his blog, Eschaton, is the ninth most popular link at Blogroller.[1]

That's scary. I try to convince myself he's not hypocritical, just ignorant and oblivious, when he rails at Republican moral bankruptcy or the the First Lady spitting on veterans for sport even as he thinks it's funny to play at being a pimp.

Yeah, yeah, the "Mars, my bitches" line comes from a skit by Dave Chapelle. Amazing, isn't it? A thousand different faces of black people, and Chapelle chose a pimp to represent "Black Bush." Black Bush, nigger Bush. 'Cause pimps and ho's are comical, good old-fashioned entertainment, like dancing on stage in blackface. Ho--not whore, to make sure we all understand we're talking about nigger pimps, even while we pretend to believe in equality.

The bitches, now, we want them in a variety of colors, and ages too--the younger the better. Like that thirteen-year-old teamed up with her mother, and that runaway whose father raped her.

Tell me the conservative elite aren't pleased by how well we do their job for them. Conflate "black man" with "pimp" and "woman" with "bitch" and "ho," and mock them. Keep that wedge between them and white men. Too bad Atrios can't figure this out for himself.

But no, he justifies his disparagement, "Tough times demand a little tough language."

No.

Tough times demand working together, and being smarter than the people who are trying to screw you over. Getting suckered into slurring the people who should be your allies isn't being tough--it's being stupid.

And it goes against the values of liberalism.

Or maybe I've been wrong all these years when I believed that to be liberal meant respecting the rights of others regardless of sex, age, color, religion, sexual preference, physical condition, or income level; meant working toward a common good; meant treating each other with the respect due every human being.

1 Rankings from Aug. 30, 2004

Comments, posts, and blogrolling

2004-08-29T10:28:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everyone who has posted comments. I have responded to most of them now.

I have several posts planned, in addition to responses to slurs, but it takes me a long time to get my thoughts straightened out enough to write coherently. In the meantime, Amanda at XX has a thought-provoking post about gay rights and feminism, Matt worries about the woman blogging thing and Shaula looks for creative solutions, and Wicked Muse quotes a man who appears to be far angrier than I am.

I've added a blogroll of women (90 active and current links so far) who address politics in their blogs, whether constantly or interspersed with other events in their lives. Not all are "liberal," and even the liberal ones disagree in many ways.

Absolutely shameful, squared

2004-08-27T17:51:00.000-07:00

Steve Gilliard writes:

"Bush is a gutless bitch.

Yes, this was a campaign stunt, and yes, Cleland has his own grudges against these people, but a real man would have invited Cleland and Rassman up to the ranch house, gave them some sweet tea, taken the letter and let them go.

So he hides behind some lackey. Just like he's hidden behind women's skirts his entire life. And he calls himself a Texan. I didn't know Texans were pussies. His father must be cringing. He's done his share of dirt, but personal courage was never something Bush Sr.lacked. His son, sadly, has no courage, no character, and no guts. He talks big, but he's hiding from a triple amputee. It's not like he wore a horse's head.

If Rove had a brain in his head, he would have NEVER let Cleland be turned away. It looks shameful, cowardly."

No more shameful than disparaging half of humankind. Why does he hate women so?

Two-for-one: real men Atrios and Gilliard

2004-08-27T17:32:00.000-07:00

Atrios writes:

"Sure, Cleland ambushed Bush for a bit of theater, but a real man would have known how to handle it. As Steve says:
'Yes, this was a campaign stunt, and yes, Cleland has his own grudges against these people, but a real man would have invited Cleland and Rassman up to the ranch house, gave them some sweet tea, taken the letter and let them go.' "

A real man, not a fake man, not a woman.

Raphael Carter words it succinctly:

"Bravery is not a gendered trait, it is a virtue; vanity is not a gendered trait, it is a sin."

Profiles in misogyny

2004-08-27T17:18:00.000-07:00

Digby explains:

"If anyone is wondering why Tweety has turned back into Bush's bitch, here's why:" [quote and link snipped]

Maybe Digby is a right-wing operative trying to get women to vote Republican. Why should I affiliate myself with people who revel in degrading women?

Creativity

2004-08-27T17:03:00.000-07:00

Digby says:

This is creative and the press loves it. Max Cleland, disabled veteran and former US Senator is greeted by some lowly functionary in Crawford because Bush is too much of a pussy to talk to him himself.

Creativity would be a good thing.

The "gag regime"

2004-08-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

The latest Holt Uncensored, a newsletter by former San Francisco Chronicle book editor and critic Pat Holt, has two great articles:

"The Secret(s) Behind Those Newspaper Apologies ... And All Those Anti-Bush Books"
"Get Mad and Fight Back: Gloria Feldt's 'War On Choice'"

The articles are better than their titles suggest. The first one talks about a court case in the early '80s:

"And the chilling effect of the Frank Snepp decision on the book business was immeasurable. Why was it, book critics like myself kept asking in the 1980s, that during the eight years of Ronald Reagan's presidency, only two books surfaced - one by Seymour Hersh, the other by Bob Woodward - that were critical of the White House?"

Child Pimp and Ho Costumes a hoax

2004-08-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

I owe Brands On Sale an apology--the costumes are a hoax. I spent a wonder-filled hour* looking at their other costumes and believe the company's disavowal: the child's red pimp suit is similar to the toddler zoot suit, and the child ho costume is the same as the flapper costume.

Finding out the costumes are a hoax made me giddy with relief; our society isn't corrupt enough to openly prostitute our children. Yet it was so easy to believe these costumes are real products. Imagine your own Deep Thought here.

What convinced me the company wasn't selling pimp costumes was this child's cheap firefighter costume that includes a cheap yellow & red plastic coat, and this child's spoiled brat girl costume with designer-inspired suit, matching pillbox hat, and marabou trim purse.

*Who would have known so many people torture their cats and dogs? Oh, the humiliation. The hoaxer struck here as well: pimp suit costume for dogs.

Back on track

2004-08-25T05:50:00.000-07:00

Focus. This blog is not about U.S. politics or feminism in general, but about the specific instances where I see women treated dismissively.

Seeing these casual unremarked insults dismays me; the insults are coming from the liberal side. Without anyone protesting, cowards are called "pussies" and denigrated as being "little girls." I'm starting to understand why some women, even though they detest Bush, refuse to support the Democratic candidate. Why bother voting? One party's just like another.

Is there any possibility these people are unaware they're using femaleness as the ultimate insult? What about "bitch slap"--is there any doubt that phrase reduces women to nameless punching bags?

Do I really need to explain why these insults are wrong? Mimicking how the other side thinks is a poor excuse: when you use their terms you're allowing them to set the rules.

Zoe's turn

2004-08-24T18:43:00.000-07:00

Zoe from Green Pass commented far too politely and thoughtfully. I think her response to my post deserves not to get lost in comments. (Matt also responded.)

"The comments that Matt made were actually in conversation with him directly (we became friends at the DNC), and not in his roundup of how the Left is doing. I stand by my opinion that it was a valuable piece of blogging that should help everyone who has an interest in building a response to the Right-wing media juggernaut. I apologize for not making that clear."

"However, I also stand by what I said about women being afraid of looking stupid. I think both men and women are equally afraid of this, obviously, but I think it's more acceptable (however wrongly) for women to articulate this and to shy away from political discussions. For example, I have heard many of my female friends say things like "I don't want to talk about politics because it makes people mad" or "I don't want to discuss politics because people say mean things." I've never heard any of my male friends express anything like this."

What you just described seems far more complex than a simple fear of appearing stupid. Some underpinnings I suspect: fear of being ridiculed (not just looking stupid), conviction that a woman's contribution has little worth (even to herself), belief that no one values her opinion, fear of appearing to side with the wrong team. And more that I haven't puzzled out yet.

"I think that the lack of time of working women is also a cultural problem. Male bloggers also have families and jobs, and yet they somehow manage to find the time to blog - and women my age usually don't have jobs or families to take up their time. If the problem is with working women, then at the college level there should be gender parity. There isn't."

"Cultural problem" is a catch-all phrase that works very well in hiding a society-wide issue that cuts across ethnic cultures. The issue I see is that most men don't do their share in family matters, and that too many women put up with it. I'm assuming that sharing of family duties is a good thing, and that there are multiple reasons for each situation.

"I never really thought seriously about avoiding discussions that include the words "pussies" and "so-and-so's bitch". I guess either I am so inured to these terms from the music that I listen to and the language that's spoken on college campuses that I find it hard to be outraged every time that someone says something like that. I did go nuclear on a commenter on Kos once for calling Maureen Dowd "Midol", though. I think that name-calling is something that someone should be called on, and hopefully isn't taken as a reason for intelligent female commenters to withdraw from political discourse. It's tough, and it is hurtful when it's obviously targeted at or against women, but it has to be fought with intelligence and wit rather than more name-calling right back - otherwise people will keep using these names that are offensive."

In college I ignored it, too. I shouldn't have. I didn't think anything about it because I was part of the group and of course they couldn't be insulting me.

Intelligence and wit won't make much difference. A bludgeon might. I'm not talking about Joe Thoughtless next door using these words, but people who routinely analyze what they read and write. I think arrogance is the key word, not cluelessness. They don't have to change, so they won't.

"A woman's blog will always be heard if she is writing interesting content. I firmly believe that. Like anyone, she has to do some legwork in getting her blog more visibility if she wants to have a wide readership, but so do men. There is nothing stopping women - both working and not, childless and not, busy or not - from taking over the web, and I would love to start a discussion on how to encourage more women to join in, and what is preventing them from doing so. You've articulated name-calling and time pressures. Women should be no more susceptible to those pressures than men, but the fact that they are is a problem, cultural or otherwise. I'd love to hear your thoughts."

Frankly, that you didn't get more feedback to your post surprised me, and I wonder if it's because of the m/f split. The people who read your blog will have heard about it from primarily male sources, right? Just a guess, and maybe Green Pass is on a female loop, too.

A lot of women seem to be online already, but it appears they've been balkinized into feminist issues--some by choice, perhaps, others by reflex. For example, take the Swift Boat story. The same (male) people keep writing about it and referring to each other's posts. (Other views welcome--I don't claim to be unbiased.)

Whether a woman's blog is read by men depends more on whether her blog will reinforce what a certain circle wants promoted, I suspect. Think Phyllis Schlafly. Maybe I'm wrong.

I would call women's name-calling and time pressures a discrimination problem--which should be a people problem, but since the visible adverse effects fall on women, it becomes a women's problem and men don't have to do anything to fix it.

(All those quote marks look stupid when the quoted material is already set off, don't they? My feed reader squashes all the paragraphs together; better goofy-looking than confusing.)

Thesaurus for sale, cheap

2004-08-24T13:53:00.000-07:00

Digby says:

"But, Bush does not want to condemn this ad and for good reason. If he did some of his staunchest supporters would think he was a pussy --- and that's the essence of what is going on here. Bush has to tear down veterans because he isn't one, but he can't do it himself. Bush just cracked under mildly difficult questioning and blurted out something he didn't mean to say."

He writes "pussy"; I read "Go away, bitch--boys only."

I could just take this blog off my to-read list, I suppose. Why should I have to? Why is it okay to insult women?

The humor of statutory rape

2004-08-24T13:36:00.000-07:00

Jessica posted:

"There was also an Operation Witness dude on the sidelines who talked about not believing in sex before marriage. Cohen's response was priceless--after confirming that the man was in fact a virgin, Cohen laughed in his face and told him about losing his virginity at 11 to a 24 year-old who 'came back for more.' Oh, Ali G; you're so bad."

Not righteous, not impressive. Definitely not amusing.

The shield of anonymity

2004-08-24T13:34:00.000-07:00

It seems kind of chickenshit to post under a pseudonym, but I'm not used to sharing these thoughts. I'm used to smiling and pretending everything's okay when I'd really like to carve out some jerk's still-beating heart.

And I'm afraid, too, that my comments here will tell everyone I'm "not a team player." Afraid I won't get that pay raise, and my name will move up the layoff list. Afraid I'll get payback from co-workers. Afraid some overbearing client will think I'm really not the right person for the project.

Yet I'm so tired of reading blogs that so clearly are written to exclude me and my kind, like hanging out a "boys only" sign. Pussy, cunt, slit, hole, twat--words for just a part of me that stands for the whole me, and that are vile insults. Bitch, slut, and whore--I'm a rutting dog or receptacle for hire. These aren't just words; they're me being thrown on the ground, kicked, and pissed on.

I hear the hostility, despite the smirking disavowals.

Trackback added

2004-08-24T06:12:00.000-07:00

If I had known how much work using trackback would be... I just hope I pinged the right sites. [sigh] And all because I got fed up with seeing women--me!--insulted, especially by people whose blogs I had otherwise enjoyed reading.

Fresh cherries for sale

2004-08-23T19:24:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Boing Boing and Sisyphus Shrugged.

"Child Pimp & Ho Costumes" description from the Brands On Sale Web site:

"Our child long pimp daddy suit costume comes with panne jacket & matching pants. Pimp hat is sold seperately."

"Child X-Small is size 4 to 6x. Child Small is size 6 to 8. Child Medium is size 8 to 10. Child Large is size 10 to 12. Child X-Large is size 12 to 14."

"Our child's Ho costume is one size fits all."

What pedophile thought of this? Little boys are being taught to treat their sisters as receptacles, little girls to be receptacles. Thanks to everyone who thinks it's so cool to talk about ho's and bitches.

[UPDATE August 25, 2004] I spoke with Jonathan at Brands On Sale. He said the page was hacked and they're still trying to remove it from the server.* The pimp costumes are actually zoot suits and the ho costume is supposed to be a flapper. More of my thoughts here.

*How can they not be able to remove it? Isn't it info in a database? Can't they...? No, I don't really want to know.

Pleasantly ignorant

2004-08-23T19:24:00.000-07:00

Josh Marshall says:

"I've been pleasantly surprised that I've only received one email taking me to task over the use of the phrase 'bitch slap' to describe the meta-message behind the sort of attack politics Republicans are practicing today against John Kerry. I'm not indifferent to the coarse connotations of the phrase. But I believe that in such trying times as these precision of meaning trumps political correctness or delicacy of phrasing."

Rhino shit. Citing "political correctness" is how people deflect any criticism of their rudeness. They mask their hostility by claiming to speak plainly. I don't know how the PC meme got started, but its reasoning parallels the sliming of the word "liberal."

Further on he says:

"No one believes that any of the protests scheduled for the Republican convention are sanctioned by the Democratic party. Indeed, far from it -- if for no other reason than that implied in the article. Namely, that any violence or ugly scenes or anything really will tend to help the president, rather than hurt him."

Sounds pleasantly naive to me. Of course people will believe the Democrats are behind any protests! Even without the media telling them so (and the media will), lots of people already know Democrats hate America and will do anything they can to disgrace our flag!

Forget about the women

2004-08-23T19:20:00.000-07:00

Zoe VanderWolk says:

"Matt Stoller has a brilliant roundup of how the Left is doing on positioning itself as a viable opposition to the Right-wing juggernaut. Particularly interesting are his thoughts about mentorship of women in politics and the blogosphere."

I found his thoughts pretty lacking, more as though he was merely being polite.

[UPDATE] Zoe notes that "The comments that he made were actually in conversation with him directly (we became friends at the DNC), and not in his roundup of how the Left is doing."

Zoe continues:

"I agree with him that women are often afraid of looking stupid and are worried about getting into something new that they don't know much about. The confidence problems can only be overcome by meeting other women who are doing the same thing, that can tell them about what they're going up against and what they need to know to get started."

I read and reread the brilliant roundup and found only this comment:

"Women - that's an interesting question. I don't know. It's cultural, probably, combined with a severe lack of mentorship and role models."

Far too much is being read into his brushoff. (If he said more, I would appreciate being corrected.) I don't see anything about looking stupid or lacking confidence but a generic comment that could have come from Bush's mouth.

[UPDATE] So my previous comments were wrong (um, that crow tastes good) but so far I don't see any reason to change what follows.

My opinion about women's non-involvement: Working women with children don't have the time between going to work, fixing meals, taking care of kids, and cleaning house. Lucky me, I'm not in that position. But I have a personal problem* with people who call cowards "pussies" and denigrate others by calling them so-and-so's "bitch," and I've been seeing way too much of it in political blogs for me to feel like I'm welcome.

*I've been working so hard on managing my anger. [sigh] But the words "fuck you, jerk" bubble up whenever I'm called names. And yes, I do take it personally when the word "pussy" is misused.

And Zoe continues:

"We need more female voices in the blogosphere, and in politics in general, and I'd love to help it get off the ground."

If a woman blogs, and no men hear her, does her blog exist?

Culturally excluded

2004-08-22T14:11:00.000-07:00

Shaula Evans asked:

"Matt, why haven't women been a big part of the blogosphere until now? What do you think we can do to help get more women involved?"

Matt Stoller responded:

"Women - that's an interesting question. I don't know. It's cultural, probably, combined with a severe lack of mentorship and role models."

She's asking him?

(Actually, her comment looks like an opener, but instead of lobbing the question back to her after saying "I don't know," he ended discussion.)

[UPDATE] Matt also responded very nicely. He mentioned that he has posted on women's issues and recruited female bloggers. I guess I need to be more clear: In the exchange between Matt and Shaula, I saw a typical mismatch of communication styles. She was offering an opener for discussion; he recognized a question and had to answer it. In my perfect world, he would have relinquished control and just said, "I don't know. What do you think?"

Jesus might not find it funny

2004-08-22T14:07:00.000-07:00

From The Poor Man:

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised, really, when you think about who made this ad, and who they made it for. [...] People who think that Jesus talks to George Bush. (Jesus hasn't suffered enough for you, now he has to spend his free time with that smirking pussy? Give Jesus a break already.)"

Let's see how these versions sound:

Now he has to spend his free time with that smirking nigger?
Now he has to spend his free time with that smirking faggot?
Now he has to spend his free time with that [sorry, I ran out of slurs]?

No, I don't have to pardon you

2004-08-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

Josh Marshall keeps on:

"President Bush isn't even man enough to answer a straight question about these Swift Boat ads. (You'll have to pardon my antiquated and gendered language. But I'm not sure English has any more presentable way to convey the same meaning.)"

That's because everyman knows a woman...

lacks the spine
lacks the character
lacks the integrity
lacks the backbone
lacks the grit
lacks the guts
lacks the soul
lacks the heart
lacks the depth of character
lacks the strength of character
lacks enough character
has too little character
lacks the honor
has too little honor
lacks the dignity
lacks the fortitude
lacks the honesty
cares too little for truth
lacks the decency
has too little decency
lacks the human decency
lacks the rectitude
lacks the courage
lacks the ethics
lacks the ethical strength
lacks the moral strength
lacks enough sense of self
lacks enough pride
has too little self-respect
isn't adult enough
lacks the maturity

...to answer a straight question.

And more:

"(Talk about being someone's ... well, you get the idea.)"

Unfortunately. Can you get my disgust?

Just another word for woman

2004-08-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

From Talking Points Memo:

"Let's call it the Republicans' Bitch-Slap theory of electoral politics."

Ouch again.

Why is it okay to use this kind of imagery?

I was following along in the article, going yeah! yeah! yeah!, and then suddenly I felt like I was being slapped. I get the point: Marshall is comparing the Republicans to pimps. But he's intelligent enough to find an image other than yet another reference to bitches and (female) whores. He grabbed the easy phrase, and he probably didn't even realize how offensive the phrase is.

[Update] Marshall admits:

"I'm not indifferent to the coarse connotations of the phrase. But I believe that in such trying times as these precision of meaning trumps political correctness or delicacy of phrasing."

I would think in these trying times it might be good not to alienate possible allies. [shrug] What do I know?

My tiny nonexistent sword

2004-08-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

Time for a break, I thought, and allowed myself to check newsfeeds.

Not such a good idea. From Digby at Hullabaloo:

"And, like the good Republicans they are, they then sniffle like little girls about how unfair it is that they are getting the same treatment they so enthusiastically mete out to to others."

Ouch.

I love reminders that, no matter how much I might seem to have in common with someone, I'll always be one of the wimpy swordless ones.